Josh Speer

(This is a repost of a friend’s blog. Im trying to help get the word out please read the post below.)

Please Help Me!!!!!
August 25th, 2009

My name is Jesz Jaydnn and I am desperately searching for my daughter who was kidnapped by her non-custodial father. She is supposed to be in New Mexico, but instead she is somewhere in CO. Please look at all the pictures and read all of the information below.

Her name is Chyenne. We call her Chy, Chiny, Chine Chine, SunChiny. She is 9 years old, 3 and a half feet tall, weighs  50 lbs. She has 2 sisters and a brother waiting for her at home. And a mother and step-father half out of their minds with worry. We’ve had no contact with her since Saturday, August 22nd, have no idea how she is or what’s going on.

Her and her sister Trinity were in CO with her dad for a 2 week visit before school started. Except her dad decided to play Solomon, and give 1 child back while keeping the other. He called me from Las Vegas NM at 1 PM on Sunday, Aug 22nd to say he had Trinity there, but not Chy. When we arrived, we went straight to the State Police office to ask for him to meet us there and get immediate legal help. We were told that since he had Chy in CO, we had to go there to pursue it. We drove immediately to Canon City CO and went to the Sheriff’s dept there, and around 12:30 AM, were informed that when the deputies went to the Grandmothers residence where she was supposed to be, that they had been informed that she was in Raton NM with the grandmother. We stayed there for a few more hours to let Trin sleep, and then turned back around and drove to Raton. There we spent all day speaking with the city police and then the Sheriffs dept. We spent hours with a wonderful advocate who tried everything he could think of to help us. But in the end they refused to help me because this is a civil matter not criminal. And it’s my fault! At least that’s what I was told.

I am not even remotely embarrassed to tell you that I had a complete emotional, mental breakdown and cried for several hours while we went through the process of going to the courthouse with paperwork to file for a new hearing with the clerks looking at the original paperwork and trying their best to help me find a way around what the cops were saying. But what it boiled down to was this – On September 17, 2003, our divorce was finalized with a parenting plan set in stone. But he moved from New Mexico to Colorado in March this year, I wanted to be nice so I altered the visitation so that our shared daughters could still spend time with him. Because I did that without going through a judge, that parenting plan was made null and void. Which gave him the legal option to grab her and run. Hindsight is 20/20, if I had any idea that this is what would come of it, I never would have allowed it.

Cade, my partner of 6 and a 1/2 years has been with me through this whole thing, standing by my side and keeping me upright and sane. After I calmed down, we sat and discussed what our options were, and since giving up wasn’t one of those, we decided to drive back to Canon City to see what we could do. By that time, we still hadn’t slept, and stopped in Pueblo CO to rest. After a few hours of sleep, we headed back into Canon City to talk to the Human Services dept to see if they would let us file any kind of a report. They refused and so Trin gave us directions to Grandma Pauline’s house (his mom) and we went o see if  Chy was there. She wasn’t, but Trin has an incredible memory, and was able to direct us to her dad’s house, and then her Anut Tami’s. Both of which were empty. We then came back to NM, stopping in Las Vegas to try and file a report with the State Police again, and were once again turned down. Everyone I have talked to is refusing to help. The only option I have is to go back to court again and re-apply for custody. Custody that I already have! But possession is 9/10’s of the law, and I have discovered that it applies to children as well.

Her last known location is in Florence CO, but she might as well be across the ocean for all that knowing that is doing me.

If you look over on the right side, there is a page that has a contact form. If there is anything you can do to help me, if there is any information you can give me, if there is any advice you have, if you know of a lawyer that will help me, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, I am begging you! I am literally on the poitn of breaking down because I don’t know what to do to get my daughter back. Anyone who has dealt with the court system knows that it can take months to do anything, and in the meantime, I have no other legal options.

-Jesz

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Here is the link to the contact page: http://waitingtobebroughthome.com/FindChy/?page_id=3

also here is a link to the original post: http://waitingtobebroughthome.com/FindChy 

Please help spread the word to who ever you might know in CO. thanks.

-Josh

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To start this thing off right, above this is a video from an awesome band that just released their second cd a week or so ago. Meg and Dia are freaking awesome and this CD is a must have. Their first CD was good but some tracks lacked something, but this new CD every track is special and deserves a listen. Give it a listen and if you like it go to their website, meganddia.com

It’s been a few months with out any blogs from me at all. I bet all of my fans are just devastated. I have been busy with my writing/English class. I’m trying to improve my writing skills and i think i have improved a bit. I have learned a lot over the past few months and im going to use these new found skills to start writing out some ideas finally. I have bits and pieces of stories but i think its time to finish some of them. In the past I’ve said that i would start and finish things but i always found my self putting it off. I’m not afraid to fail in life im just not motivated to try. I’m missing the driving force behind my ideas. I lack the passion for creativity i one had. I’m not sure where this lack of passion came from. The thing i do know is i want it back and im willing to do what ever it takes to get the passion back. I’ll reach back and say what ive already said, “Keep Moving Forward.” Break away from the daily routine of nothing and strive for something better. If i don’t take a chance ill never know if ill be able to do anything.

I have one thing ive been wanting to write about and that thing is problem solving. I had a problem with a friend. Things were done and said and nothing was ever resolved. And now its like nothing ever happened but something did happen. I’m still not sure if there is something there hiding in the shadows waiting for the right time to pownce out and fight another round. I want to know what this person was going to respond with oh so long ago. I guess ill just wait it out and let it go unsolved for the moment. I hate to fight and i hate not having my best friend even more. I felt like we had a nice bond almost like we were really family. OK enough of that for awhile…

Im off to take my last final for the semester…

-Josh

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I promoted this band when their first CD came out. I’m glad to see they made it past that first CD mark. Most bands (rock bands) on roadrunner records don’t make it past CD #1 ! check out the song above its pretty funny and good as well.

-Josh

You can’t change the past but you can grow from it. I’m taking it upon myself to grow from things I’ve gone through, and things I have done to others. I tend to live in the past where nothing changes and everything stays the same. It just doesn’t work because people grow up and they change. No one stays the same no matter how much they want to it just doesn’t happen. There has to be change in our lives. It’s the only way to adapt and continue to live the very short lives we have.

I’ve heard so many times that life is so short get out there and live life. I was standing in line the other day buying something at target, and this older lady was in front of me with a ton of items for St. Patrick’s Day. I looked at the items and got a chuckle from them and she looked at me and said “They are for a friend”.

I replied to her “Sure…” she then said, “Life’s to short. You have to have some fun in life.” I hope she has a great time with all those things she bought. I need to take from this to have some fun but not too much.

If you spend too much time in the past you never will move forward. Walt Disney use to say “Keep moving forward…” He believed in a constant state of change. With out change things will always stay the same and nothing will get better. Its hard for me to change but on the other hand its hard cause I have never really tried to hard to change. But I believe now it is the only choice available at this time. I need to change and I need to do it A.S.A.P.

People are here and put into our lives for a reason. We learn to be better people, and change in many ways. Sometimes this is for the better sometimes its not. Things never stay the same. Some people are in our lives for a lifetime and some are just passing by. No matter how hard you try to hold onto the past it won’t help look towards tomorrow and soon you might meet another person you can learn much more from. I can no longer wait here and hope things will go back to the way they were. I can however look back at all the great times I had and also the bad times and grow from it.

The time for change is now! I must leave the past where it is and live in the now. Life’s to short its time to start living.

Thank you to all the people that have been in my life thus far.

-Josh Speer

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This has to be one of the best things ive seen from the onion. check it out now.

-Josh

On the road to becoming myself i have been taking a few days to get through the bullshit that is life. Im surrounded by people with the idea of what life is and how its supposed to be. In this overcast of how im supposed to be im getting covered in what is only known, and not in the thought of  new ways of thinking. Shadows cover any thought that is different from what is known and what is true. Im just realizing everyone is taught to take the easy path because it is the only one that is known better then the roads less traveled.  People that are considered outcasts, Crazy or just different are the ones that look at the same thing being done and think of a new way to do it. And i feel like im bursting at the seems to be different but im surrounded by so many of the same people i cant break free from this mold. It scares me in some ways that things dont work the way you want them too but when im told constantly things cant work the way im thinking and im not given a chance to even try it scares me more that i cant trust myself to take the risk. I cant! is tossed around in my head to much to even think anything else lately. The thoughts of failure plague me and its so funny when a song can point out soemthing so clear i didn’t even see or think before :

I can’t seem to change you or open up your eye’s
So go on and sing your sad, sad song.
I don’t even blame you the routine is nice.
Nine to five and a suit and tie.
Fear of failure a comfort zone is killed.

Braise your self’s and give into the moment.
I’ve got nothing to lose.
So what is your excuse?
Save yourself’s your dying in slow motion.
You got nothing to lose.
So what’s your excuse?

Life can’t seem to teach you the safe caught is right.
So stray from the fight.
Don’t you realize?
The daydreamers nightmare is to never even try.
You kind of slipped by.
Fear of failure a comfort zone is killed.

You cant fail if you don’t even try. And i need to start living by those words cause i do have a fear of failure. I have all these ideas that are so great but i have this fear they will be stolen or hell not even made. And if i try i wont do a great job on them. So i type out the ideas and jsut sit on them talk about them and hype them up and never deliver with an end product. I cant stand doing this anymore. I need change and i need to be who im meant to be, i cant be who other want me to be. I cant do the things they have done, i cant take the main road i have to take a detour down the road less traveled. If it was easy everyone would be doing it. Ive realized why most people dont do what they really love or dream about doing. they cant invest the time and effort it takes to reach or achieve that dream. I came to this conclusion while watching an infomercial for some new workout tape. I can see how people wanting to loose weight would get this and start out doing the things instructed on the tape but then stop becaue it takes time and effort.  The real question i and everyone has to ask themselves is my dream worth the time and effort. Do i really want this? My answer is FUCK YES !

I’m going to Keep Moving Forward and not let others influence me to stray off the road that leads to my dream.
One of the ways i think i tend to stray is i get excited about something new ive come up with and i have to tell some one about it or ill burst.

Being your self takes time, its not an overnight kind of thing. So im dedicated from this day forth to being me and accomplishing my dream no matter how hard it is.

“I am a product of my placement”

-Josh

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Manmade God - Bad Creation

I’m taking a break from friends and games. Ive been getting off track from my main goal and tend to drop things im doing to hang out with friends and it seems lately im not getting anything started or done, so im taking a break from friends and games from Sunday 1/4/09 - Saturday 1/10/08 time to put shit in order and get back on track. I’m trying to be different and change my routine and mix it up and this is a big step for me. I get distracted very easily and i need to learn to juggle things and make time for everything and getting this idea storm out of my head is my top priority. so im off to write, write, write !!!!

-Josh

My new years resolution is to be myself. Not to act or try to fit in with people that wont like me for me. Im not an actor and im not going to act anymore. I am me and thats all i can be. With that said. Im loving life right now im having such a great time. Im working on story and character development for an upcoming project that i hope to have out before april or in april. Ive been working on this idea for awhile and its starting to take shape like never before. from story to the characters i think this is going to be something amazing. I cant wait to share it with the world. All thats left to say in this post is enjoy life and never stop being who you really are not what other want you to be. and “Keep Moving Forward” -Walt Disney

(the graphic is above is something i did today it has a controller hidden in the top and it says Happy New Year 09)

-Josh

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Merry Christmas (eve) !
-Josh

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I was watching some videos earlier on you tube and stumbled on this one above. i clicked on it cause i like the stuff David Blaine does and thought this was him. and to my surprise it was some guy acting like him and it happens to be a pretty damn funny spoof on his magic. so take a look and let me know if it give you a laugh. Part two is below.
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-Josh